Tattling on brothers and sisters and hating a new sibling from the first day he invades the family are just two examples of how sibling rivalry wreaks havoc on family relationships. Because preschoolers are constantly flapping their wings of independence and importance, they often fight with their siblings for space, time, and the number one position in their most important world: their family.

For children under the age of eight years parent problems cause most pain. After this children react to troubles at school, problems mixing, learning difficulties and worries about the world. As parents, we can't protect our children from everything, but if we get our own emotional baggage in control we've won half the battle. Unfortunately, there are some hassles that we can't always avoid.

By its very nature, adolescence is a time of turmoil. Teenagers will be testing themselves and their relationships, and there may be frequent, almost routine, arguments and discussions both thin the family and between them and their friends and contacts. However, the turmoil can be intensified if something drastic happens to affect the family as a whole - an internal crisis or one imported from outside.

"Me do it!" is one of the lines parents of preschoolers can expect to hear starting around a child's second birthday. This declaration of independence provides a golden opportunity for parents to allow their young try-it-alls to perfect their skills, as long as household rules aren't broken. Parents should remind themselves of their ultimate goal: to produce self-confident and self-sufficient children. So dig deep for extra patience as you bear with your child's mistakes, and balance the need to get chores done against the importance of teaching your preschoolers important living skills.

It will be clear that discipline is based on encouragement and reward. There is, however, a small place for punishment, but it is punishment without pain. We don't hit or hurt children. Instead we punish using things like:

Even royalty use rude words, but only in private. Our children get the same royal flush, but the words appear at inopportune moments. The reason for bad language is ignorance of the meaning, releasing tension, attention seeking and acting 'cool'.