Birthday parties
Younger children are full of bubble and bounce. Parents tell me that sugar in the party food is the cause of this over-the-top behavior. I'm not so sure: this age group would be airborne even if we fed them on the purest of sugar-free food and natural spring water.
When planning a party for the under-eights, make an invitation list then divide it by two-thirds, which is all you can manage.
The over-eights will want a more sophisticated party: a live performance from a famous pop group or the guest appearance of Manchester United would be popular but not essential.
- For timid partygoers, talk it through before they go. Role-play introductions and thank yous.
- With an over-rowdy raver, arrive a little late and pick up a little early.
- When organizing your own child's party, ensure you have enough adult minders on hand.
- Consider inviting a favorite teacher from school. They can wander around and provide a form of police presence.
- Check all toilets are capable of quick throughput and frill flush.
- Consider using an outside party centre. It may not be more expensive and it has the advantage that others tidy up.
- A trick candle (that won't blow out) never fails to impress.
Bragging and boasting
We recognize bragging as a suitable talent for the politician who wishes re-election. Yet despite the example of our leaders, we teach our children that it's vain and offensive to blow your own trumpet.
The under-seven-year-olds live in a world where everything is larger and more spectacular than life. Listen at bath time as five-year-olds discuss their most private parts:
'My dad's is bigger than your dad's.'
'No, my dad's is huge! It's like this!'
Maybe it isn't an exaggeration but it's still part of their quaint, uncomplicated world.
After eight years of age, boasting is either an adult-type behavior or a sign of emotional insecurity. When my boys were at school, the taller stories came from friends with the most convoluted, much-married backgrounds. Certainly I couldn't work out how all the relatives fitted together, and the children must have been equally confused where they belonged.
How you handle a boast depends on the child's age, the extent of the problem and the state of their esteem.
- For minor bragging, ignore it altogether.
- Explain how boasting can make you look stupid. Illustrate with a play on your own brilliance: 'My spaghetti bolognaise is the best in this street. It's better than anyone's in this city, in fact, aliens from far off planets may land on our lawn, knock at the door and ask for the recipe.'
- Put the brakes on bragging. 'You have talked all morning about your goal. We know you are a top player, but this is bragging.'
- With tall stories, listen and then state, 'I hear what you are saying but this is not quite true.'
- Ask the ten-year-old how they feel when others brag. Does it impress I them or not?
- Notice non-bragging days or weeks. 'Today you played a blinder of a game, you were brilliant, yet not a brag or a boast!'
- Don't be too tough. Life would be pretty boring if we didn't stretch the realms of credibility. Every successful author knows that you can't let truth get in the way of a good story.
